Learning to laugh with Kandiee Campbell

Automatic transcript with light edits to names and spacing. Some words may be wrong, and speakers are not labeled. Breaks and sponsor messages are included. Check the recording before quoting a passage.

0:00 Are you tired of feeling hopeless, or do you feel as though you carry around an invisible ball and chain? If so, you are in the right place. It's time now for Awaken Hope with Kandiee Campbell. Kandiee is a therapist and grief counselor that works with women to help them process and heal from emotional events that can keep them feeling stuck. Let's take this journey together. And now, here's your host, Kandiee Campbell. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to Awaken Hope. I am so super fortunate and so blessed that you are choosing to tune in, no matter where you're listening, whether it's on the mainland, here in Hawaii, or abroad.

0:46 But know this, I am grateful for each and every one of you for tuning in and listening to my show. But before we get into today's episode, I do want to do one housekeeping thing. As many of you know, I'm coming to you from the beautiful state of Hawaii. And yes, it is beautiful. However, you may or may not hear a plane or a jet fly over. I happen to be underneath the flight line to the Honolulu Airport, as well as near a fire station. So if you hear a siren or a plane or a jet, I will take a momentary pause. I am still here, however, I cannot compete with those sounds.

1:31 I've tried. They drown me out. So let's get into today's episode. I am so super thankful for each and every one of you. Today we're going to talk about how we show up, owning our power and learning from who we can learn from. So I was doing a healing session this morning at 5 a.m., my time, which was, you know, for the East Coast. It was 11 a.m. But it's really important to me to do this. I do it every Tuesday and it really sets my tone and sets my day. But I digress. The important part that I want to share with you is how are you showing up?

2:25 I want to ask you that. Are you showing up in your true power or are you shrinking for so many of us? We probably do not show up in our true power. I know for me, for many years of my life, I would show up shrinking due to what I had learned from my mom and my dad. I realized that it was not safe to show up as me. When I was growing up, I would try to show up as me and I got knocked down by many family members, not just my mom and dad, but my grandmother as well. And so I learned that it was not safe to show up as me.

3:20 But I'm here to tell you, it is so vitally important that you show up as you. Because how we show up impacts people, whether we show up with kindness and love and compassion or anger and hurt. However you show up or however I show up makes a difference in someone's life. So it's really, really important. Tell me when I say this, don't take it personal, don't go into, oh, you're being attacked. You're not being attacked. The reason why when I do these and I talk about certain topics, it's so we can all grow. It's important to be your most authentic self. So if you show up as your true authentic self, you make a huge tremendous difference.

4:32 It's so important to be able to be you. But one of the other things that's really important about you being you is that you have to take the time to give to yourself. You have to do your own healing, your own grounding, meaning connecting with the earth, being ever present, not just out of body. And when I say out of body, think about it. When you're having a conversation, if you've ever had a conversation where you're talking to somebody and maybe it's someone new that you have never met, but while they're telling you their name, you're thinking of an appointment or things you got to do for that day.

5:31 You're not in body and ever present with that person. I am guilty of that. There are tools that we can use to remember someone's name, but we have to be present with it. We have to attend to the information that's being given to us. So it's really, really important that we be our authentic self because we make an impact on people, whether we realize it or not. You get up, you encounter people, whether it's at work, your family, your friends, or perfect strangers. Maybe you go to Starbucks and get a coffee and someone's there. You run into somebody or there's people in their order and coffee and you're standing there waiting and how we appear and how we show up can impact the people around us.

6:40 So I encourage you, make a conscious choice to do the things that you need to do to help you show up as you, whether that's working with a therapist or a coach, whether that's doing a healing session. Lately, I have had the fortunate opportunity to do some healing with guests that I've had on the show. You know, they've offered free healing so I can see what they're doing, so I can promote it on the show as well as I have a friend who does a healing every Tuesday and she does it through Zoom and we've been friends for, oh gosh, since the pandemic and I met her during the pandemic and she's truly a wonderful friend.

7:40 But the point of that is I take the time to do what I need to do to rejuvenate me. It's so important because if you don't give to yourself, again, you've heard me talk about this, if you drain yourself and you give and give and give and you do not replenish yourself, you have nothing to give to anybody else and you give from an empty vessel which unfortunately enables us to get angry and resentful and tired and just overall not a happy camper. So find something that's going to give to you, replenish you, heal you, whether that's doing a meditation, a daily meditation or healing, massages, all that stuff is wonderful because that when you give to yourself and you replenish yourself or imagine this just doing nothing and you may be thinking nothing, what is nothing going to do for me?

9:08 Well that when I say do nothing, that's just being, just being in that moment, allowing your body, your mind to regenerate, to heal and that is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself because that is going to enable you to show up your authentic self. Focus on you. Another one of the tools that you can do for yourself is just learning from the environment around you. When you go out on a daily basis instead of being so busy, we have become a society that is always busy. Have you ever stopped to think about that? I catch myself doing that. I've been busy, I've been XYZ, been doing this but I have to sometimes ask myself, okay Kandiee why are you being so busy?

10:31 Why is it that you feel you have to be busy and you'll be surprised at sometimes of the response I give myself. When I tune in to why I'm being busy, it's not always what you think it's, their busyness is for but stay tuned. We're going to come right back and you'll learn more about why I, when I tune in to why I'm being busy, what the answer is. We've all felt left out and for people who move to this country that feeling lasts more than a moment. We can change that. Learn how it longingbeginswithus.org, brought to you by the Ad Council. Hello, hello, hello, welcome back to Awaken Hope.

11:23 I am so fortunate to have you here but we were talking about the reason when I tune in to being busy, the answer I discover and the answer oftentimes I've discovered at least recently has been it's not that yes I am busy don't get me wrong but sometimes I choose and here's the choice, I choose to stay busy because I am not necessarily wanting to deal with something so if I stay busy I can't, there's no space to deal with it and it was really eye opening when I realized that some of my busyness could be changed. A lot of my business, I could, you know, we all have the same amount of time in the day but I could structure my schedule, structure my time differently.

12:37 I can still be busy but I can be more productive in that busy time that way I'm not busy all day long and exhausting myself and getting worn out because sometimes and I'm talking about myself here when I show up as busy and I'm going going going like you know the roadrunner from the cartoons if you ever watched the roadrunner you know what I'm talking about is constantly moving, beep beep beep beep beep, he's constantly going and when I show up like the roadrunner busy moving always stop never stopping I miss out on so much. I don't see the things I need to see, I don't always hear the things I need to hear because my mind and my body are constantly going but what I was reminded of recently and it's so I'm hearing this coming from multiple sources that it's so important to be to just be in this moment not worry about doing everything I've got to do I will accomplish all the things I've got to accomplish but I won't if I'm just going going going and you know not taking the time to just be so if you are interested I offer a complementary 30 to 60 minute resiliency session we just talk we sit down we kind of figure out your goals and basically you know I'm going to ask you if I can wave a magic bond what would you want to see and we strategize what you want where you want to go how you want to show up if you're interested go to my website the awaken hope show dot com and fill in a request form and I will gladly reach out to you so I digress we're going to talk about the busyness what I discovered about my busyness was it was an avoidance thing and I don't I'm choosing and hearing hear me when I say this I'm choosing to not avoid things but to take the time slow down and sometimes just be not everything has to be accomplished right now unfortunately I learned that message at an early age that you always had to you know you weren't successful if you weren't accomplishing everything but sometimes just being accomplishes so much more you stop and think about it when you exercise you're running your ear whether it's running or lifting weights or you know doing some workout when you're doing the exercise your body is you know is building and breaking down and all this stuff you're building muscle your your cardiovascular is getting its workout your cardiovascular system is working out but where the repair and where the healing comes it's not during the workout it's during the recovery phase so it's important to sometimes just be and allow your body and mind to recover that's going to impact how you show up if you take the time for you and you give to yourself whether it's through healing whether it's through a session with a coach or therapist or just going out and connecting with mother earth one of the things I like to do sometimes it's just I like to go out in my backyard and take my shoes off or they call slippers here which are basically what you would call flip-flops in the rest of the world and take my slippers off I put my feet into the grass and I just ground I you know I connect with the grass with the earth and just be I love the feeling of the sun coming down on my head as I'm connecting with the earth so when you want to be when you want to be a better version of you a more authentic version of you do something that's going to help you be not do be replenish you give to you heal you focus on slowing down there is nothing absolutely nothing wrong with slowing down and taking time for you we all again we all have the same amount of time and we will accomplish the things we need to do if we slow down and take time to just be so another one of the strategies I want to talk to you about that will help you show up as a stronger better authentic self is the source that we learn from one of the things that I learned today and I've known this but it was reiterated is learning from young children you may or may not have kids maybe you have kids maybe either grown up maybe you have grandkids maybe you're around kids or or nieces and nephews doesn't matter have you ever just tapped into watching children play they are totally in the moment they are playing they're running around they're being but they're totally in the moment we can learn so much from children they know how to just be in this moment they know how to live it live for today so I encourage you to pay attention when you go out if you have kids young kids or grandkids or nieces and nephews go out and observe them watch them see what they do when I taught preschool that was one of the most enjoyable parts of my job was going out and playing with the kids and they liked me because I like to get I'd roll around on the you know on the the mats and play on the slides and it was like Miss Kandiee you're gonna go with and play with us and I did that was enjoyable so stay tuned we're gonna take a short break and we'll be back and I will tell you more of the story all right hello hello hello it's candy Campbell from the awakened hope radio show and I've got something special for you as a licensed therapist who focuses on [therapy term unclear] I've teamed up with a writing coach to bring you a series of journals to help you process your feelings and emotions hopefully gaining clarity and understanding along the way if you're ready to embark on a journey of healing then I've got just the right thing for you the hope and healing 90-day journal imagine if you will having your own compassionate companion guiding you through the ups and downs twists and turns of life that's what our journals are all about each page offers you prompts and nurturing guidance to help you reflect explore and go whether you're facing grief heartache or just need a little extra sports the hope and healing 90-day journal is your safe space to let it all out and find your way back to hope thank you so much for tuning in and listening I am so grateful and I want to remind you that no matter how dark it may seem there's always hope so take the first step and let's link and hope together head over to the journaling collective dot com to get your journal now this will change your life thank you welcome back to Awaken Hope with Kandiee Campbell I am so super grateful for each and every one of you choosing to tune in we're talking about learning from children and I was so fortunate to have had the opportunity to teach preschool I loved it I did it for several years and I enjoyed being with that age group not only because their minds were still learning and they were absorbing and taking everything in they were learning everything they were learning from me they were learning from their peers they were learning from everything around them but one of the greatest things I learned from that age group from preschoolers is they are in the moment they are here and just being they're being their authentic selves they're playing they're laughing they're excited and it does not take a lot to make a child laugh for the most part there are those rare cases where kids have been you know unfortunately have been impacted and so laughter is a little more challenging but you can always get a child to laugh you can tickle them oh yeah one of the things that they used to say is the tickle monster I would sit there and go okay tickle monster is going to come out and play and they would start roaring and laughing and we would just do so many things they used to like to ride the bumpy cars meaning I would sit them on my lap and I would bounce them up and down and we were like we're on the bumpy road we're on the bumpy road bump bump and they would line up to ride the bumpy cars it was it was quite comical but you know it made me laugh it made them laugh and it didn't matter what what class I was teaching at the end of the day we always ended you know or during play time we would always play the bumpy cars or we would go on if we were outside we'd go down and slide I would slide with them on the slide I would run around the field at the playground with them and chase them and a tickle monster would come out and it was just a moment to become to relearn how to be a child to relearn how to be in the the present moment because children they are in the present moment they can teach us so much and it's so important to live in the future enjoy your life take the time to breathe come into your body be in the now and just allow yourself your body your mind to heal allow yourself to have fun how many of you have lost the true essence of fun I know there are times when I have to regroup and go back to that when I'm around kids that part of me comes right back out but when I'm not around kids and I'm around adults sometimes that part of me gets lost and I was told and reminded that it is you know I needed to laugh more and I was sitting there thinking when I was doing this healing session they were talking about learning from kids as you know I have two grandchildren that are being born this year no they're not going to go on the bumpy cars yet they're still going to be babies but when they get older Nana is going to teach them how to ride on the bumpy cars Nana is going to be the tickle monster Nana is going to play with them and be with them and learn from them because they are our greatest teachers so if you want to if you want to heal your mind and you want to begin to show up owning your authentic power owning who you are who you came into this world to be learn from children laugh engage in ways that are funny and just be and learn and laugh learn from children pay attention to small kids they are our greatest teachers find hope in each and every moment of your day thanks for listening to Awaken Hope with Kandiee Campbell if you find yourself struggling just know there is help please take the first step in contact Kandiee to learn more go to [website address unclear] if you like our show please tell your friends and family to listen join us again next time for Awaken Hope with Kandiee Campbell